My perspective on dating is from movies. Movies has romanticize love and dating. ‘You are at a party and never recognized this young man, who saw you before you even notice him. There were three moments in life where you meet. One day you bumped into him and noticed his eyes. ‘Sorry’. ‘It’s ok’ he says. Than you start wondering and looked back at him- ‘Have we met?’ ‘I think so,’ he says, ‘maybe you will not recognize me, but I have seen you at three parties’. ‘You mean the New Years Eve parties?’ ‘Yes.’ As you are you are curious and want to know more, of why you never talked. What happend in the movie is that this story leads to a very cute, and super awesome story with a much more complicated twist, but both seem to figure it out in the end.
In real life dating is much more complicated than what a movie tells in 90minutes. It is fun, exciting, lovely and full of new things, BUT after spending so much time together; you feel bored. Sometimes you even spice it up by doing new and exciting things. Both people feel like an old and married couples, when you both just in your thirties and still figuring out life as individuals. My situation is a little bit different. As I wrote in the last blog I am dating in COVID times and am still dating Match 2. Which kind of tells the whole story, because I am dating him for more than 90 days now. It also means that we spend so much time together, since he quit his job, and is home for almost two months now. I kind of live with him and parttime in Downtown. That means, we are in each others space A LOT and we also WANT TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER.
For a small part dating IS like the movies, because I do believe that the best experiences are portrayed in a sequence. What sets real life and a movie apart is the time frame. A movie tells a small aspect of the dating frustrations which in real life it can be very very annoying and for the most part you are NOT observing the story, you are your own lead in the movie called: Your Life, in this case ‘My Life’. Oh, if the movies fooled you, don’t let me start with all those IG couple accounts.
They say that in every relationship there is communication: I agree 100%. Communicating is very hard- you need to be honest (even if it might hurt you or the other person, you may also sound very mean to the other), you need to say sorry (even if you are right or if you are wrong), there is forgiving that we make mistakes, show kindness even if you really dislike some silly traits- you also tell them especially if it bothers you AND also tell them what you DO like about some other silly traits. When you did communicate, most of the time, you feel relieved and happy, and you hug it out. After that, acknowledge that we are our own individual. As much as we love to be with the person or only hang out with them- we and they need time-out and space. Space is good: It lets us think and appreciate the things we have and to focus on what is best for us as an individual. We don’t have to take it personally.
It is still hard! Dating is not new for me. I am dating for the second time. The only difference is that this is now a relationship. We are way beyond a type of dating. My first experience was more of testing the waters- I kind of liked it and wanted to give my all. Now, I got the chance to do that a 100% and at the same time I am getting to know myself, getting to know the other person, combining my own personal/professional life and he his to come together for a mutual combined partnership. Till now, he has been very patient, sweet, kind, supportive and he has done so much for me, which is unthinkable in a dating phase. MAYBE this part could be put in a movie.
