Part 1: A story of a guest writer not being published because of her insecurity

Due to my own insecurity I missed an opportunity to be published as a guest writer. Around 2019 a friend I know asked me to write a guest post on a few topics concerning the female perspectives. I shared a lot of my personal experiences with men up close on Facebook. My insecurity let me postponed her request many many times. Finally on March, 13th 2020, I wrote the guest post. Till last year I haven’t seen my post on her blog and as of last night her blog is not active ‘This site can’t be reached’. I missed on a good opportunity to be published as a guest writer. 

To be honest, I haven’t texted her about her blog, yet. It is also two years that the story was written. I follow her and she is pretty busy with her personal & professional life. And since I am starting to be more consistent I could just write the story on my own blog. I read the story again and I definitely should rewrite it, which I will do. Don’t worry – I will use the written story – but I will put it with more flow and coherence. 

Questions to be answered

The friend asked me questions and if I could answer them based on my experience and growth. These questions were; 

1. What is the difference between a girl and an adult woman? 
2. Can I give an advise to my daughter if I would have one? 
3. What do you want people to know when they are thinking about love, art or intelligence? 

These are very very interesting questions and not just simply answered, I  guess. She wanted more depth. My thought proces was ‘How could I answer these questions, without too much information or being all over the place with my answer and no coherence in the story. Believe me, my first written post should be just a draft, and not even been published. Could be for the best, that it hadn’t been published, huh! 🙂 Would you mind if I do a serie and individually answered the three questions? You don’t. Great! Here it goes 😛 

The difference between a girl and a lady

To my great surprise I haven’t fully answered this question. I wanted you to draw your own conclusion after reading the story. Afterwards it turned out not to be a wise decision, because I did not really share my experience, but my train of thought. That’s fine too, but leaving it entirely up to you to conclude for yourself made the story tiresome. To answer this plain – we would all agree that the difference biologically is the age. We categorize a girl under the age of 18, above 18 is a lady and above 25 can be considered a woman, but on this website a girl can be under 30 and above 30 a woman, because a lady is more of a status or some positively female traits. But Quora on the other hand has a variety of answers on this very question. Nothing the less I would say that I can agree with this quote from an anonymous person: “A girl wants attention, a woman wants respect. A girl wants to be adored by many. A woman wants to be adored by one.” I might agree with this quote but I am also aware of the fact that maturity comes at any stages and ages. I am well aware that this also comes with years of experience and also girls who are eager to learn for which make them open for personal growth. Blogs have been written and is still being written about this subject from both the male and female perspectives. In some cases the men just pour out their own experiences with a ton of girls, which makes it sad that I feel that he is generalizing. Other men needed time to consider what defines a girl and a woman. These two guys also wrote or linked an article about the difference or what defines a man and a boy. To put in a woman’s perspectives, that also dedicates her website to women, I agree that a woman’s approach in life is different in any stages of her life. Madhuri Sen was pretty passionate when stating her answer; ‘In every woman there is a girl and in every girl there may be a potential woman. By definition a girl is the less mature, more innocent, more fresh faced version of a woman; attendant with everything that is linked to kids and early youth! Like we say there is always a child hidden in every person, regardless of gender – the child in the woman is the girl.’

Finally My answer

I mean I don’t want to step onto anyones toes or exclude anybody. The internet has so much information that you could look up. By the way, you also might experience something different. So my take on this is; I felt I was a girl till my 28-29 years. When I turned 18 – I wanted to stay 18 forever, because I would not have ANY responsibilities. NONE. I was convinced! After I turned 19 I experienced full on responsibility: I come from divorced parents, and I needed to make a very big decision on that age, during my birthday. It was so hard and difficult. Even though I was pretty mature in my mind, somewhere I was fighting by not becoming an adult. Between 19 and 29 I had a lot of experience and made a lot of life changing- huge decisions, but it was around 29 that I wanted to change my course and wanted to accept that I am not a little girl anymore, and becoming a lady- a woman- soon to become 30. When I read all the articles I linked to this blog- I am agreeing with all of them. It is just that being a girl becoming a lady and a grown ass woman has a lot to do with the mindset, self-image and self-knowledge. We all come from a different background, household, community, country – and fill in. I learned and am still learning from women and men (young &old), when simultaneously accepting myself as the leading lady in my own story.