My boyfriend knows me better than I know myself. Or I can say that he and I have builded on this relationship were we know exactly when something is off. He is sad, will be for awhile and his trust in me is damaged. I kept the mistake a secret, is what he says- I didn’t want to tell that part in the story, because of the one thing I was afraid might happend, which did happen. I just want to forget it ever happend. But guess, the cat is out the bag.
The reasons for me where;
I was trying not to hurt him
I was thinking it was something I can handle myself in the future
I was trying not to put this Dench/crack in this relationship
I was thinking that what we don’t know will not hurt, so it would be better for the relationship.
The Trust is broken
Of course birthdays will make it worse. He even made a joke that he would be the first in this year, and that is not true- means that his ‘idea’ of me being the best girlfriend is shattered.
I have nothing to say for myself. I am also disappointed in me. I should know better and I should make better choices. My boyfriend trusted in me, I trusted in myself and I have shown that I can not be trusted. It hurts for me too, but I did this. I can not fix this. I should just be aware of the consequences of me losing the one person I trust in and the best friend I ever have. I am the worst girlfriend.