My boyfriend knows me better than I know myself. Or I can say that he and I have builded on this relationship were we know exactly when something is off. He is sad, will be for awhile and his trust in me is damaged. I kept the mistake a secret, is what he says- I didn’t want to tell that part in the story, because of the one thing I was afraid might happend, which did happen. I just want to forget it ever happend. But guess, the cat is out the bag.
Love Language to work a Long-Distance Relationship
Since July 17th, 2021 I am in a long-distance relationship with my American boyfriend. I am surviving it, but it hasn’t been easy. The relationship itself stands on its own and the only work we needed to do is communicating with each other. Constant and every day conversations. What t.f. would we communicate about every single day, you might ask? Well, for starters about his day, or mine. Me wanting to just have someone to listen to me, while he still sleeps. Keep in mind that our time difference is -4 hours on his side. When he still sleeps, my day already is bright and sunny or rainy, depends on the season. And the best part most of the times is his handsome face I just want to see or be annoyed by.
How I reread my diaries (some 1 on 1 wisdom nugget)
It’s Christmas, first day of Christmas in Suriname. The neighbors are celebrating and it bothers me slightly. I have my music on, and am cleaning up the second room a bit.
A few days ago I was looking for something in my book container. It is impossible to put the books and diaries in unsorted, so they lay on the floor for a few days.
So as I take the time tonight to re-sort the books and diaries, I’m flipping through my old diaries and reading a few pages.
Made myself a tea and eat cake from the night before Christmas party.
When I read, I encounter myself again and relive the moments.
Thoughts that remind me of all the goals I so desperately want to achieve, and also times when I’m at a loss with myself.
As always it happens that I get even more paper (than is already in the container), also my laptop and then I write. I also promised myself to publish a post every Sunday for Perixcope.
Writing & Resorting Diaries on Christmas Night
Translated question: From which little things do you derive happiness?
My Diary is written in Dutch and English – how I think I need to express myself
What is my the challenge? I love attention; men’s attention. The feeling I get from it is- ooh, I feel very much in control and have power, because they want me again, which allows me to decide if I give it to them or not. They get the vibe; -the door is ajar- find your limits. Am still in esteem with them, despite being in a committed relationship.
My perspective on dating is from movies. Movies has romanticize love and dating. ‘You are at a party and never recognized this young man, who saw you before you even notice him. There were three moments in life where you meet. One day you bumped into him and noticed his eyes. ‘Sorry’. ‘It’s ok’ he says. Than you start wondering and looked back at him- ‘Have we met?’ ‘I think so,’ he says, ‘maybe you will not recognize me, but I have seen you at three parties’. ‘You mean the New Years Eve parties?’ ‘Yes.’ As you are you are curious and want to know more, of why you never talked. What happend in the movie is that this story leads to a very cute, and super awesome story with a much more complicated twist, but both seem to figure it out in the end.
The realization on dating & relationship I have the past month haven’t changed. Well, maybe a little bit, but not drastically. What haven’t change is the way I viewed my dating & relationship. My relationship has mostly been intimate and sexual. In 2019 I experienced a more personal & romantic relation with another person. Currently I am living in the United States of America for 6 months. The prior goal for me staying in this ‘land of opportunity’ is because of a fellowship. You already kind of know me; a people person that needs connection. In addition to the fellows who also participate in this fellowship, I want to get to know new people, in this COVID time. What is the best time? What shall my approach be?
